HetaliaxReader, A parody
by thebewilderedhorse
Summary: So this is a parody as the title so subtly suggests... So enjoy it but it's not to be taken seriously. Rated T cause of language and that sort of what not. Story also has Cameos from many other characters.
1. Chapter 1

Englands P.O.V.

Have you ever gotten the feeling that you're being watched. I don't mean like watched and judged, that I'm sure you feel everyday in school, or work or whatever it is you do with your life (reading fanfiction?) I mean watched when you're certain you're alone. At home, in the empty changing rooms, getting out of the shower. It's... maddening.

I suppose I should say it started one day when I was walking home. My country, being my country, it was raining. My people, being my people, one of them was bound to forget their umbrella, so as a precaution I carry an extra one (the NHS is under a lot of pressure already, they don't need an extra, foolish person with a case of pneumonia.) I saw a young girl in her teens- where in her teens I can't be sure, I wasn't paying that much attention to her and given her youth decided that she was probably only umbrella-less from nativity more then anything else.

Biggest mistake of my life.

I mean I've made some horrible decisions in my time as England, but, none of them had this sort of repercussion. I would rather face Ireland in rainy guerilla warfare then have this situation. I've even asked her to dispel the stalker in the way that Ireland can do things (kill the girl and hide her body in a bog not to be found for hundreds of years), of course she refused, laughed and walked away.

I loath this existence I have been faced with... a strange girl with a H/C ponytail and E/C eyes has been following me around for more then a month. I can't stop thinking about it. Her. She's everywhere, a constant in the back of my mind and I can't escape it. I haven't slept right in weeks. I don't even know her name. I don't want to know her name.

So why am I writing this now? Firstly, I am terrified of for my life, secondly I want someone to know what happened and thirdly, the more I write the more time I may have left.  
"That's not very nice things you've written Arthur," now I'm writting the current moment as in the present, as in the right now of my life. The girl is standing behind me, knife far to close to my neck for me to ever be comfortable (I've had easier times with Belarus)  
"That's just mean, hey stop writing what I'm saying!" S**t she's taking my pen.

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Readers P.O.V.

It was a really wet day when I first met him, I had left my umbrella on the tube and was walking along Londons streets when a kind stranger gave me an umbrella. Such an act of kindness on such a whim... It made my day.

I later found out he lived in the same building as me. We were in the lift together, and I returned the umbrella.

"Thanks Love,"  
"Your welcome."

No one had ever called me love before. I was so happy with that, he must have liked me. People only call you love when they like you, write?

Over the next month, we bumped into each other over and over again. I learned that his name was Arthur and that he worked in politics. Yet their were moments that I felt I knew him more.

One day, Arthur invited me into his apartment block, he decided, since we kept bumping into one another that it was time we got to now each other more. he seemed like a good well mannered and trustable sort, so I went with him.

Best choice ever!

Today were married and live together. It's a happily ever after with great sex and loads of romance. I couldn't ask for more.

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3rd person view

The young blonde man was trembling in his seat as the shadowy figure stood too close to him. "Come with me now and we make the story so... To X reader land!"


	2. Chapter 2

England was trembling in the back seat of a cheap off white corvette. The girl driving with (H/C) was an erratic driver at best, and it wasn't helped by her tight turns, swerves and flying through red lights. she wasn't even sure what side of the road to be driving on. Oh how he regretted giving the girl that umbrella.

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Belarus was the first to find the note. Why Bela, well why not? It was Russia who she wanted to see, but the note might of had something she could use for black mail. She wasn't concerned not at all, that was until she got curious over who this "reader" person called (Your first name) (your surname).

"Big brother Russia,"  
The Russian man had walked into Englands room, the members of the G8 we getting concerned over a serious lack of attending members (Russia and Canada being the only ones present).  
He turned to loose his obsessive sister running through the winding corridors... Only to stumble across a badly lit feminine figure.

Reader P.o.V

"Ivan!"

My voice was a little horse after that squeal... Russia... sweet, crazy, Russia... My Russia.

"I'm (Your name), it's nice to finally meet you!"

He looked at me like I had two heads. Maybe I do? I certainly could. He started to look for his lead pipe, but I had taken some precautions. Behind him was a rather large magnet, stuck to it his signature weapon. He looked at me, somewhat unnerved but, that was replaced by his adorable (evil) look and pretty (sinister) aura. I couldn't help it, I had to glomp him.

My arms were wrapped around the Russians "big boned" structure. And I was about to move in for my first kiss with the big guy when I was rudely pulled away from him by girl who could only be Belarus. She did not speak, she glared and pulled a knife on me... I had other plans for her. She tried to stab me and the knife landed in the wall. While she was distracted by that I grabbed and tried to run off with Russia who, was torn between looking terrified by me and terrified (in a relieved way) by Belarus, even though she's the crazy stalker one.

I another knife was thrown at me, this one did exactly what it was intended to do. My sleeve was pinned to the wall, and thus I was held there. Belarus tore her brother away from me, the incestuous creeper... She smiled with a maddened look before pulling out another throwing blade,

"Now I have a real person to practice my knife throwing with..."

Before she could do anything Russia pulled her away, I watched them walk away, I didn't hear everything he said, but caught him uttering that she and I were hardly any different. Russia saved me... He must have loved me... Why else would he do that, this is Russia, right? He doesn't have a reputation for valuing humans... This is... excellent.

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3rd person

Canada was sitting alone at the table waiting to see if any of the others would show up. Russia was gone a good while now, he didn't know what to do, other then wait. His beloved polar bear wasn't allowed to come to this meeting in particular due to he and Russia having to discuss culling the of creatures... Of course he was going to argue that it should never happen...

Russia and his sister burst through the door

"Comrade we are having a problem."


	3. Chapter 3

England P.O.V.

"Arthur, darling... It's time for you to get into costume... Today you're going to be a pirate,"

my pirating days are behind me. Far, behind me. Not that I don't miss them, it's just... I don't exactly want to recreate them with (Your name) especially not in the bedroom, she's way too young for me.

I've sent for help. Well, I'm hoping that someone has found my letter and they're going to send help... I wish I knew where I was.

Yesterday, (Your name) came back fuming about how Russia was hers not a Belarus's. She then proceeded to try and make me eat some cup cakes dusted with dubious looking blue powder. I'm going to kill Ireland for making that drug.

"Captin Kirkland what are you going to do to me? Why did you take me!?"

HURRY UP AND SAVE ME YOUR FOOLS!

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Canada remained quiet as two of the scariest nations sat across from him. Russia and Belarus, Belarus and Russia. He wished he had his bear in his arms then things would be bearable, he would be laughing at his pun if he weren't so frozen in place. How Ukraine could be related to either of these... He shook his head, this wasn't supposed to be his main thought. He was supposed to worried about where the rest of the world was.

Most noticeably, America. It was quiet without him, too quiet. What was his brother and "hero" up to?

Russia had a series of plans, most seemed violent, and involved extensive bloodshed, Canada couldn't go along with them willingly.

"Belarus, do you've any ideas, you are an expert stalker, you might know how we could find this attempting nationapper"

She looked at the Canadian, half forgetting that he was there. Her eyes widened a little, and for a moment, it looked like she was blushing. Probably not used to people telling her that she was actually good at things.

"I have an idea..."

reader P.O.V.

England was being uncooperative. I only wanted to play a game. Not a silly game... A fun game. Belarus was an interfering bitch...

I sighed, locking the door to the room that held England. My precious Arthur. I also had Germany, Italy, France, China and Japan... All of the axis powers... I was so close to completing my collection of Allies.

Canada... soft, sweet, and gentle Canada... surely he'd be an easy little catch. Probably walk right along beside me because I notice and remember him...

(Time skip, brought to you by all the time I've spent crying over the rainbow road level on Mario Kart)

I was back at the world conference meeting building in Brussels... My off white corvette was going to need a good service with the amount of back and forths between the places I was doing.

There I lay my eyes on him... Canada... I wonder if he's as sweet as his maple syrup, I shall have to find that out. He looked up shyly, seeing me as much as I saw him and he waved.

Unable to contain my excitement, I ran up to be at his side. He smiled at me, such a lovely little smile.

"Hello (Your name),"

"You know my name!"

I squealed at the thought, I knew everything about him, and he knew my name... Oh how my heart raced when he said it. While I was caught in thought, the sweet natured boys heroic brother came up to him.

Both of them looked shocked

"Aww, Bro, you didn't tell me you got a girlfriend!? She's cute,"

"She's not my..."

"Don't deny it in front of her! I thought you were supposed to the be polite one"

While the brother were arguing, well while Ameirca was caught up with himself and Canada tried to stop him, I took out my camera and started with photos. The belligerent sexual tension was strong between the two...

"Dude, what's she doing?"

"I don't..."

"You've weird taste in women."

With that the American walked off back towards the carpark. I took this as my chance to get close to Canada. He looked sad (irritated with his brother more like) my arms wrapped around his surprisingly strong feeling waist. For the second time that day, I was interrupted, but this time it was someone I was getting all too familiar with. Belarus  
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End file.
